Hi Beautiful
So are you entering the new year on a high, or are you feeling a bit lackluster? Ever felt that you did not deserve to be loved? Or felt that you deserved some of the horrible situations that have happened to you? Strangely, we will come up with a million reasons why we deserve to be treated less than. We always say to ourselves, “I should have known better,” “I was stupid”, “how could I be so careless?” Does any of this ring a bell? Don’t worry, I did not bring this up to make you feel bad. Trust me, we are already our own worst enemy. I am here to be that digital friend and shed light on providing yourself with some self-compassion to get closer to self-improvement.
Let’s take a moment to break down self-improvement. It literally translates to the process of an individual improving themselves through their actions, by showing interest in self-improvement opportunities, or you may hear it called personal development. Personal development is any activity that helps you develop your skills, builds your potential, and enhances your quality of life. Now, that’s a big one – “quality of life.”
What do you mean by quality of life? This is your standard of health, the standard of your happiness, and the comfort that you experience. Self-improvement/personal development is meant to help you fulfill these needs. We all want to be happy, live long, and live comfortably. The beautiful thing about it is that you get to define what quality of life means to you. You tell the world to what degree you enjoy participating in life events. You tell us if you are capable of enjoying life and being happy? Yes, you are!
It is not as much about who you used to be as it is about who you choose to be
Now, how are we supposed to do that? How do we enhance our quality of life? How can I improve myself? Let me give you some points to start with.
- Do not become overwhelmed – if you cannot figure out what you plan to do. It is okay, that is the point of your self-love journey is to participate in self-discovery. A lot of “self” going on here, right? Remember, this is all a gradual process; you are going to take small steps and make small changes that take you in a positive direction.
- Pick an activity you enjoy – This will be different for everyone. Personally, I love working out, I love lifting weight I feel like a badass when I deadlift, but I also love shaking my hips during hour-long hip-hop cardio. I am improving my health by exercising, and I am having fun while doing so. Now think of an activity that puts a smile on your face. Is it drawing? Is it singing? Is it learning languages? Anything.
- Set a goal – Now you have taken the time to think of that activity, or activities, that bring joy to you. We need to set goals for ourselves because remember rule 1? Do not overwhelm yourself. Take it slow, so instead of 3 activities, maybe scale to one or two and focus on them. You want to become a specialist in this activity. If you love to draw, take time during the week to improve your skill. Maybe you have a goal to complete 3 watercolor paintings within 2 months. Yes, put it out there into existence, and it will become more real.
- Focus on what you can control – Now we all have setbacks, they are inevitable, but situations that are out of your control do not mean you have failed. For instance, you want to showcase that watercolor painting as it was your goal, but the art show was canceled. This does not mean it is a sign that you should stop trying; do not let self-doubt talk to you now. Instead, find an alternative, show it off to your friends, family, or share it on an online platform. We can only control what we can influence.
- It is okay to fail – Yes, it is okay if you did not reach our goal in the time frame you set. Do not fall into the trap where you start degrading yourself. It is counterproductive and harmful to your well-being. If you want to improve yourself, then you need to prepare yourself for when situations turn upside down. Life does not always go as plan and that is okay, we roll with the punches and try again. Remember, if this is an activity that makes you happy. Do not let that one failure steal your love away from that activity. Continue pushing because we have to do what? We have to continue choosing ourselves.
- Surround yourself with believers – Yes, we as human beings are social creatures. We will always end up looking for others’ approval, that is fine to a point. Make sure you surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you! Use discretion about who you spend your time with
- Self-Improvement does not have to be costly – Yes, hear me loudly. For instance, I currently do not have a gym membership (canceled it), so what do I do for fitness? I walk outside with my dog. I do home workouts for free via YouTube University. You are just finding ways to challenge your current situation and your mindset. You can wake up earlier to give yourself more time to focus on your activity, you can face your insecurities, and just know you do not have to be rich to obtain self-improvement. You define your quality of life.
- Pat yourself on the back before you sleep – strange? Well, think of how you would comfort a loved one if they were down after failing something, right? You would tell them, “You gave it your all, you tried your best, and it is enough.” You are enough. Do the same thing to yourself. “I really tried today, I’m so happy I was able to fold my laundry and put away all my clothes.” “Wow, I did a great job and got to chapter 5 in my book.” “I did great, but getting 3 pages done for my assignment. These self-acknowledgments will keep you fueled to tackle the next day’s obstacle, and you will love yourself a little more each night.
Hope you found these 8 tips helpful and that you can implement them in your life. Continue to choose yourself; you can enhance your happiness, and what you give yourself no one can take from you. That is the best thing about self-love and why it is the best gift because once you have it you will not allow anyone to take it. Happy self-improvement
Forever Always Shay Moore
