Hi Beautiful!
I hope you all are enjoying your weekend :] So you came here because you are feeling a bit unsure? Maybe you are feeling down and out, or maybe you just feel off your game lately. Sometimes life could throw us a curveball, we follow our diet regimen, we try to be consistent with our workouts, meditations, runs, and cardio. You try to give your all at work, but honestly, you are running on E. I understand that I have been on E with work for months. It is hard to be motivated when your whole life has been turned upside down.
During this pandemic, we have attacked ourselves emotionally and mentally more than usual. I know I have, I watched myself gain the 20lbs I worked so hard off in 2019 come back in a few months, despite working out from home and buying more resistant equipment.
Sometimes you look at the person in the mirror and wonder why you are failing her… Why am I not good enough for myself? If I can’t help myself, what use am I to the world? Have you thought that you are not enough? That you are not worthy? I know, typically people think that self-doubt is about other people and insecurities, but insecurities do not just occur when you are in a room surrounded by people. We all have heard “we are our worst enemy,” and this is still true.
“But Shay, what do we do? How do I shut off the voice in my head that says I’m a failure?” Well, I do not have all the answers, but I do have a few tips to hopefully make your day a little easier than the night before :]
Affirmations: Yes, I am big on positive affirmations to yourself. You could take some time and create a positivity jar. Write things you love about yourself or that you are grateful for, so that when you are having a hard day, you just pull a saying from the jar. I personally record videos of myself during my “happy days,” and I tell myself I am beautiful and that I am trying my best. It is okay if I’m off track for a bit, but I will find my path. Try it out and watch it on your down days!
Externalize: I love externalization, narrative interventions just excite me! #MFTinTheMaking Give your self-doubt a name. Separating your doubts from yourself will make it easier for you to face them head-on. When you give your insecurity a name, you are permitting yourself to separate it from yourself. For example, instead of believing everything your thoughts say, you would say, “There goes negative Natalie again, give her time, she will settle down”. Just remember You are not your thoughts.
Spend time with loved ones who support you: I get it, sometimes hearing it from yourself may not be enough; it is okay to have positive social interactions. Reach out to your family and friends who believe in you. Thinking about the people that are by your side at every turn, good or bad, lets you take a moment to reflect and realize “They believe in me, they believe I can overcome anything, they really love me”.
Implement Self-Compassion: If you struggle with self-doubt being your default mindset, you may not have a clear method of handling failure. This behavior makes it harder on yourself. It is typically easier to avoid self-doubt when you have alternatives. Instead of beating yourself when you make a mistake, treat yourself the way your best friend would and be understanding. I have said it before, if you wouldn’t talk to your best friend the same way when they reach for comfort from you than you should not do it to yourself. Everyone is worthy of compassion.
Embrace your self-doubt: Now shay hold on! Hear me out, it sounds counterproductive and confusing, but think about it. If you no longer see self-doubt as a threat to your well-being, you will be less stressed. You do not need to be “friends” with self-doubt, but you do need to acknowledge it and be willing to have it from time to time. Afterwards, refocus your mind and energy on moving forward with your life. Implementing this consistently will lead to your brain being less reactive when self-doubt arises, and it helps you move past it.
Well, my loves, those are my 5 tips to overcoming self-doubt. These are just a start. I just hope you felt inspired to be okay with your flaws and that you do not feel alone. You are not alone in this department of struggle, self-defeat, and self-doubt. I am here for you and with you! Take some time and tell me how you have been combating self-doubt, or if any of these tips proved helpful!
See you around, Beautiful!
Forever Always – Shay Moore
